Home

Recent Blog Posts

Check Out My Bookstagram:

it turns 12 and i'm in a softly lit washroom, looking at myself in the mirror while being on a call, yelling “i love you” at my loudest tone. in that moment, my mind is serene, blissfully unaware of what happened or what is to come, only envisioning happiness, joy, and a lot of love. isn't that who i am? strip me naked, skin me alive, and you'll only see a heart still beating, resilient and undeterred by the ache. it's not even been days after that night and i'm in my room with tears flowing down and coughing so hard it feels like my oxygen has been taken away. the pain in my heart is so intense and somedays it hurts so much that i want to halt doing everything that i'm doing, just sit, not eat and be. i'm the main character on the bus rides i take everyday, i look out the window listening to hozier and sufjan stevens. cimmerian shade is a song that i've listened to so much that it is an acquaintance i hate running into. i disappear from places and end up in the corners of libraries, or reading on the benches at the fountain during the golden hour. i make impulsive decisions and get on trains and get off at places i want to explore, walking the streets like a tourist, all the while remembering how my mom held my pinky finger as she once took me to the same places. the specifics elude me, but the blur makes sense. the smell of those places make sense because i've experienced them before. maybe that is how i'm forging a connection with myself. that's how i know i'm not an entirely awful person, although i've been a horrible friend and daughter at times. i've rediscovered the song my mom used to play while doing chores when i was six and i've fallen in love with it again. as the intro begins with a sweet, romantic humming, it reminds me of love, the old school love i've begun yearning for again. it's in how i cannot stop smiling or thinking of them. it's in how i know of their favourite songs, and listen to them every night before sleep. explaining all these instances by saying how it has happened this month feels a little reductive. it's just life, i think, the one i'm embracing and trying to fall in love with. a part of my heart craves to walk the streets full of bougainvillea flowers near my school. waking up at 4 for 3 days, going to sleep at 12, rushing sm because the hostel had a curfew, meeting so many new people, having the best ogs, ocs and coordis, experiencing new things, SEEING BABIL KHAN, ABHINANDAN SEKHRI, SHEKHAR RAVJIANI AND SHANTANU MAHESHWARI (also flexing: rohit saraf, prajakta koli and ap dhillon), dancing the night away with the people you love the most <3 july🌸🌿 week 1 of college ❤ (not featured: the amount of stress i'm under already :’)) 🌿🌧️ june🌧️🪞 goodbye vadodara<3 we have art in order not to die of the truth🏛️📜🕊️ may🌸☀️🌿💌🦢